Hannah Hausen

Hannah Hausen (the funny one) she/they

Self-Bio: Hello! My name is Hannah Hausen and I am an alc- I mean a current division 3 student here at Hampshire College. I am creative writing student focusing on screenwriting and playwriting. I am the captain of the non-male basketball team and the sexiest member of the frisbee team. Don’t believe me? Come and find out for yourself.

Year of div 3: 2021

Name of div: I have to title my div?

Summary of your div 3:  As of right now my division three is a play based on the life and interviews of my grandparents. The play is told from my point of view and consists of fictional accounts of both their lives. Hopefully, it will be performed through the Hampshire college yurt at some point. 

Hampshire’s influence: I think I feel more confident in myself. I’m definitely a better person and more educated on world issues and the systemic issues plaguing this country. Which has made me more aware of my own behavior and privilege. I’m also just a better person. My personality is better and I’m no longer ashamed of things that society tells me are wrong.

What place on campus was significant to you? : The RCC/bridge. I love the memories I have there from playing basketball to playing cards games with friends. It is impossible for me to have bad memories there. I threw a great pass to DK while playing frisbee, I lead our team to victory and that is where Willow and I first hung out alone.

Describe the on-campus place as you remember it.: Warm, large, echoing, I can still smell the french fries, rock wall, pool, court, gym all the good stuff.

What place off-campus was significant to you? : The train station in Northampton. I’ve had many goodbyes there and I love goodbyes. I don’t like leaving people but I love goodbyes there is something freeing about them.

Describe the off-campus place as you remember it. : There is a restaurant that is way too quiet. A train that rarely comes around. An oversized parking lot. It used to be free now its kinda free. It’s almost always empty except when the train comes then it’s full.

Dear First Year Me,

I know you.             You feel like a relic of the distant past but I know you.

I know me.           As well as anyone knows themselves I know me.

I know us. As much as I dislike you, you are a part of me. 

I know the anger that flows through your veins

It’s warm and venomous like the UV rays of the sun

When you first lay in the sun it feels glorious

It’s warm and loving like a much needed hug

It makes you want to be engrossed in the sun for days at a time

Relying only on its bright yellow rays for sustenance

However. That is not possible

For the more we stand in the sun, the more it seeps into our skin, slowly, stealing my youth

It burns my fair skin red. Giving me blisters.

Scarring my body with the remnants of the sun’s glare

Now my blood is scarred.

Scarred with the remnants of the past——— A constant reminder of the anger that used to live there

The anger that used to be entangled with my blood-

as if they were one and the same

The anger that still infects my blood

That my white blood cells try to fight off like the virus it is. But they can’t.

My brain is stronger than my heart

My brain floods my body with more anger than anyone needs to experience

My heart tries to pump it out. It doesn’t work

Each heartbeat has the opposite effect. It spreads the infected blood

Weakening my heart with each beat

Stealing my youth, slowly—choking my soul 

That’s why I dislike you

      You are weak-

-susceptible to anger and self hatred

But you can change

                                                        I know you can change

                                                       I know I’ve changed

I know we’ve changed

Sincerely,

Future You