Sarah Buttenwieses (she/her)
Self-Bio: I am a writer and community organizer (also a former Hampshire staffer and trustee, and a Hampshire parent!)
Year of div 3:1985
Name of div: Three Essays on Mind-Body Connection
summary of your div 3: I wrote three essays about the mind-body connection. The first, and most academic was about medical and non-medical models of childbirth; the second was about a year long improvisational movement group I participated in — Authentic Movement — and the last was about running and aloneness.
Hampshire’s influence: I remain interested in both the overarching themes and I am now a writer, who spent many years (and still am) in the reproductive justice world.
What place on campus was significant to you?: My two favorite places on campus were the pool and my carrel in the library, but also the road ringing the campus, especially the part behind campus past the tennis courts.
Describe the on-campus place as you remember it.:I remember the light coming in through glass as I swam in the morning. I remember the cozy feeling of tucking into my carrel and looking at the pictures and phrases taped up. I loved the crunch of the gravelly road and being tucked in between all the trees.
What place off-campus was significant to you?: My running route, which went up to Middle Street, also Maple, and past farmland.
Describe the off-campus place as you remember it:I loved running by the farm center in the late fall and catching the whiff of grapes when there was frost all over. This is the most sensory and specific detail.
Dear Div III Me,
if I could talk to my twenty-one-year-old self, I think I’d say three things upfront:
You are smart and articulate and beautiful and committed; believe in yourself;
You won’t be twenty-one (or twenty-anything) forever;
This place, Hampshire, is going to be more important to you, not less over time (mind-blowing, right?).
The Div III year was so hard, but less about the work. I wish I’d worried even less about the work (probably unavoidable) and stood up to anyone who doubted me. I didn’t know how to do that. I guess that future me wishes I could have championed younger me more or that more other people might have done so. But I did find mentors in my twenties (including at Hampshire) and wow, they mattered/matter so much to how things went. The mentorship was a wise move; future me always doles out that advice–find a mentor.
The belief in self, in beauty and articulateness, etc. STILL HARD (i’m 57). But I keep working on it and honestly, it’s getting better (which, please reader Molly, you can laugh here and I’d be all for that).
The impermanence piece — as in not twenty-one forever — that is mostly earned over time, and that’s just fine. More like a reminder than anything else.
As for Hampshire: what an amazing little institution and place that is one of my homes in so many unexpected (to my young self) way. I never imagined working at Hampshire, and then I did–for seven years (the first staff person for CLPP). I didn’t imagine becoming a trustee, but then I did, for eight years. I learned SO MUCH and gave so much, too. I never imagined that first kid of mine, the one I brought to board meetings because of breastfeeding would one day go to Hampshire — and that happened! I never imagined my husband would become a trustee (not an alum) and care for Hampshire so much as well. I never saw the James Baldwin Scholars Program or the Carle Museum coming — and then I got to help make both those things happen. I never imagined the friendships and happiness working on things and the angst 2019 January to May would bring either, but those BONDS again, those BONDS. It’s really a privilege to love a place, stay nearby (Northampton, which again, never imagined I’d stay here), and to watch it grow. I feel like one of Hampshire’s very many good kids. I am still surprised this is one of the truest joys in my life. And that I’d be so proud of this institution and its truly incredible students.
I didn’t mean for this letter to focus so much on Hampshire itself, but there we are. I think that’s because I had no idea–and maybe I can’t imagine what I’d have done with the information–that the values I practiced at Hampshire, from curiosity to artistry to physical activity to hands-on community/citizenry–would the ones to carry me through life. How lucky was/am I.
current me
What We Remember 